8 Things Healthy Couples Don’t Do

Last week, I saw a woman slam the car door in her husband’s face and storm off inside the grocery store. Then there was the couple sitting next to me, the man staring at his phone the entire time his wife shared with him her concerns about one of their children. I saw someone post a rant on Facebook about their spouse that ended with, “MEN!”Relationships are hard, and we’ve probably all done something similar to the examples above. But that doesn’t excuse the cavalier mistakes we sometimes allow for…

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“7 Bible Quotes Supporting Gay Relationships”

I hesitate to write another blog post on any homosexual issues, but it breaks my heart when I see thousands of people watching and sharing content that furthers the misconception that God is alright with homosexual relationships. This week, a popular homosexual “vlogger” released a video entitled, “7 Bible Quotes Supporting Gay Relationships.” Because of the obscenities, I will not link to the video, but I will give you the rundown of all “7 Bible Quotes Supporting Gay Relationships,” according to Arielle Scarcella and Matthew Vines.First, the title of the youtube…

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Keeping Marriage Fresh

From the moment they say “I do,” newlyweds have two years to enjoy the special bliss that new love brings. This new finding, reported by the New York Times last month, is based on a study undertaken by American and European researchers who tracked 1,761 people who got married and stayed married over 15 years. After the two years, the couples moved into a more companionable state in their relationships.The study also reported that the research, completed in 2009 has been confirmed by recent studies as well. Although the excitement…

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How the Teachings of Emotional Purity and Courtship Damage Healthy Relationships

There are many times that I don’t realize just how much strange teaching I’ve had to undo in my life. I usually don’t realize it until times when I try to explain them to someone else. This happened to me the other night. A dear friend and I were talking about our kids and how to help them transition from children to adults. The topic of dating and relationships came up and we started talking about my story. Sometimes it’s actually comforting to me to be met with blank or…

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Deceitful Relationships

Deceitful Relationships:Everyone interacts with other people in a family, at work, at church, in a store, in a car, in a neighborhood. In the process, you either reveal or conceal what is on your mind.Many of my clients appear to be radiantly happy when they enter the consulting room, but before the session is over they reveal a bitter, hateful spirit. All these people are prepared to do anything to avoid the hatred, anger, ill will or the critical spirit of another person directed at them–even to the point of…

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Is The Fear of Abandonment Killing Your Relationships?

 Is The Fear of Abandonment Killing Your Relationships?Do you know that early experiences of abandonment behave like a curse worse than death when one is trying to establish a successful and healthy relationship in their adult life? Do you know that the negative memories of abandonment remain stored deep in the subconscious mind and from there generate negative beliefs about one’s self such as: I’m unlovable, I’m unwanted, I’m unworthy, I’m defective, I don’t deserve to exist, etc.?Do you know these negative limiting beliefs behave like “set points” that set…

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Is Your Addictive Needy Inner Child Killing Your Relationships?

 Is Your Addictive Needy Inner Child Killing Your Relationships?Do you know that many people harbor an addictive needy inner child inside that is responsible for feelings of loneliness, the inability to be alone, feelings of immaturity, feelings of low self worth and self esteem, poor self confidence, manipulative and controlling behaviour patterns, envy, jealousy, addictive behaviours, the inability to care for one’s self, the need to be taken care of and soothed by others, the need to be made to feel worthy, loved, wanted, special, important, validated, and secure just…

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Are Feelings of Rejection Sabotaging Your Relationships?

Feelings of Rejection are one of the most pervasive dark forces that destroy relationships. Where do they come from and what can one do about them?Feelings of Rejection are likely at play whenever one is unable to fully trust others to like, love, appreciate and or accept them. This creates a tendency to remain shy, aloof, withdrawn and to be unable to fully be honest, authentic and intimate with others. There is also often a heightened level of hyper vigilance or self consciousness as an attempt to check one’s self…

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Relationships – Erasing Feelings of Inadequacy Responsible for Failed Relationships

 Do you know that feelings of inadequacy which make one feel unattractive, unlovable afraid of true emotional intimacy, unworthy, vulnerable to rejection, withdrawn, inhibited, like an imposter and emotionally unavailable ultimately lead to the demise of one’s most valued relationships? Do you know feelings of inadequacy are built on a foundation of old emotional baggage in the form of early life negative memories of rejection, abandonment, abuse, humiliation, neglect, etc. stored in the subconscious mind?

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Why Do Most Relationships Fail?

Why do most relationships fail? Is it because of a fear of commitment, a fear of being honest, a fear of intimacy, the result of co-dependent neediness, etc.? Well would you be surprised that many of these are only the surface veneer to a much deeper problem that each individual presents with when they consider starting a relationship; a problem that few ever become conscious of?So what is that problem?Well have you ever wondered why it is that so many, perhaps all, individuals have a need to be in a…

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Relationships – Why Negative Experiences Repeat Themselves

If you’ve ever experienced some form of negative or what some refer to as abusive events in your relationships you may have, if you’re older or experienced enough, also noticed that the such events have a tendency to repeat themselves. Why is this?Well in order to understand this one must first look to the origins of the problem.Some of us are fortunate to have had a wonderfully happy, safe and secure childhood. The rest of us unfortunately experienced some form of “abuse” whether it was sexual, emotional, physical, mental, etc.When…

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Broken Relationships – How to Let Go of the Sadness and Grief

Any unsuccessful relationship leaves residual feelings of sadness and grief. Now as so-called “normal” human beings we are expected to bear these feelings. Many therapists will tell you for instance that having such feelings is a normal part of the process, a normal part of living.In this article I hope to not only counter this idea I hope to help you actually begin to let some of these unhelpful feelings go.First let me start by discussing why they are unhelpful. Well that’s fairly straight forward.Simply feel the sadness and/or the…

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The Main Reason Many Relationships Don’t Last

Is it not striking that so few good relationships exist these days? So much so that we as a species seem to have resigned ourselves to believing that human beings simply cannot have healthy relationships. Unfortunately this view has only come into vogue because we have yet to appreciate the real reason why relationships rarely last. By excavating this and making it plain for all to see I believe we can begin to not only challenge but negate our current perspective on this matter.So how do we accomplish that? Well…

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Relationships – What is Responsible For Sabotaging Yours?

Do you find yourself saying or doing things that habitually undermine your chances of relationship success? In other words are you repeatedly sabotaging your relationship? Do you know why? Do you want to stop? Here’s your chance.In many cases when self sabotaging behaviors seem to erupt in the context of a relationship they do so in an unexpected and uninvited way. The individual who is responsible for them often feels like they came out of the blue and had little or no control over the negative behavior. This is because…

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When The Fear Of Intimacy Destroys Your Relationships, What Do You Do?

Are you afraid to fully open up to your partner sexually, emotionally, mentally and spiritually? Does this create an insurmountable barrier between the two of you? Is this barrier manifesting itself as self sabotaging behaviors that push him/her away ad leaving you feeling frustrated, angry with yourself, stuck, confused and as if you are being controlled by some hidden force that wants to ruin your relationship life? If so then do you want to free yourself of it once and for all?What I have described is a fear of intimacy…

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Want To Be Free Of Co-dependent Patterns That Repeatedly Destroy Your Relationships

 Want To Be Free Of Co-dependent Patterns That Repeatedly Destroy Your Relationships:Why does Co-dependence arise? Well because two or more individuals make an unconscious contract with each other to try to satisfy the unmet needs of the other. Initially, especially in the case of a couple, this contract is defined as “love”. For instance, how many times have you heard yourself or others say something like “I can’t live without you”. Usually this means “without you my needs won’t get met”. In other words, “I will start to feel empty,…

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What’s the Difference?

Yesterday I was at a friend’s house and she was catching me up on the latest season of The Bachelor, a reality show in which an eligible young man is presented with 25-30 potential life-mates and through spending time with them and systematic elimination, finally chooses a bride. We watched part of the first episode, and expressed our disbelief that for some people, this is how they make one of the most important decisions of their lives. We noticed how differently these televised relationships are formed from our own.  Their…

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Putting Relationships in Holy Perspective

It took me four years into my marriage to learn to place God, rather than a man who loved me, on a pedestal.I woke up and sat on the side of the bed after a peaceful night’s sleep having no idea that Greg had tossed and turned next to me all night long. With a somber look on his face, Greg quietly whispered that he had something to confess to me. A lump immediately formed in my throat. Rather than walking away to avoid this uncomfortable moment, I allowed Greg…

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Love and Relationships

In the book of Proverbs, God provides through King Solomon a behavioral picture of the person who is considered wise. In relational terms, wisdom is seen in the pursuit of the good life, that is, the godly life—a life marked by certain qualities that emulate the love God desires for you and with you. It’s the kind of love that elevates everyone around you.Proverbs is a practical guidebook that answers the question, “How then shall we live?” More specifically, its focus is on how best to live in the here…

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How can we build STRONG Relationships?

What do you want? What do I want from you? Why do we wear the label “Christian?” If we read the Bible from cover to cover, we would easily conclude that the Bible is a book that talks about two major relationships – God and man and man and man. One of the major aspects of being alive is that we are able to enter into friendships that are fun, exciting, and warm. Christians are to become “good” friends with God and each other.Getting to know you and others is…

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Relationships and Eternal Life

 I am sure that everybody here will agree with me when I tell them that life can be very complicated. There are times in our lives when everything seems smooth and peaceful, and others when there seems to be nothing but trouble, disturbance, and inner struggle. Go and talk with anybody – whether religious or not – and they will tell you that life has its ups and downs.What is life? Life, put very simply, is a series of alternative choices. Whatever we choose to do has consequences, just like…

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A Single Womans Guide To Guarding Her Heart

With the big “30″ just around the corner, I’ve had over a decade to learn a few things about dating, relationships and handling one-on-one time with the opposite sex. Most of the lessons have been learned the hard way: Keep communication lines open. Don’t get too involved too quickly. Learn how to pace. Share activities. Have fun together. Make sure he really is a Christian.I’ve also learned that it’s much easier to guard my body, in the form of sexual purity, than it is to guard my heart. It’s easier…

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Christian Relationship Help: How Anxiety in Difficult Relationships Contributes to the Dysfunction

Are you looking for Christian relationship help to enable you to understand how anxiety in difficult relationships contributes to the dysfunction? Then this article will help you. Anxiety is a sense of disquiet or dis-ease that is experienced as mental or emotional distress. Anxiety isn’t comfortable and people usually react to get rid of the anxiety that comes from all types of problems in difficult relationships. Reactivity takes one of two major forms to manage the anxiety: People either typically under-react or overreact. Here is how each of those are…

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Is There Hope for a Lasting Marriage?

“It’s as though I’m scanning a desert with a pair of binoculars. Everywhere I look I see bodies strewn about in various stages of death and dying — divorce, isolation, abusive and decayed relationships, all types of devastation. After viewing this I ask myself, Why would I want to begin that journey?” Many students today are asking the same question. Although they deeply desire the security and joy of a lifelong relationship, they fear marriage.

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