You Can Build a Happy Marriage

How many truly happy married couples do you know?—and are you even sure of these? Is your marriage happy? Are you enjoying the life you anticipated? Statistics suggest the answer is probably “No.”Most married people are unhappy—with many a virtual study in misery. They have no idea what to do about it or where to turn for answers. Millions stumble along, bouncing off one marital problem into another, never knowing how to address them—let alone solve them!Married life has been the brunt of endless jokes, where traditional conduct and the…

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The Purpose of Marriage Ever Obsolete?

Marriage is under assault as never before. Will it—can it—survive? Adultery is exploding—why? Traditional home and family life is blurring. The once-typical family is becoming extinct—why? Most do not know where the institution of marriage came from. And they have no idea why, or if, it is even necessary. This booklet reveals the true meaning—the astounding purpose—of MARRIAGE and FAMILYThe world is exploding with problems. Much knowledge is available about them, but little understanding. The breakdown of marriage and the family is a classic example. Seemingly everyone knows it is…

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How Can You Manage Marriage Stress in Troubling Times?

 When I was a teen, my grandma used to tell me stories of what it was like being a young bride at the start of the Great Depression. “Those were stressful times for me and your grandpa,” she’d tell me over and over again.They worried about money and making ends meet, and how long their jobs were going to last. They never got laid off, but my grandpa was required to work 12-hour days and take a pay cut to keep his railroad job. My grandma worked equally long hours…

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The Christian Family: Teach Your Children God’s Ways

 If you are one of God’s people, you are a vessel God is using to preserve truth. God preserves His truth and love for His ways in the hearts of people. He preserves His truth across time, from generation to generation.This principle is so important that God commanded the nation of Israel: “Therefore you shall lay up these words of mine . . . You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down,…

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Does Marriage Really Matter?

The attraction of a man to a woman and a woman to a man has long been the inspiration for poems, novels, chivalrous deeds and much consternation. The ancient sage Agur the son of Jakeh said, “There are three things which are too wonderful for me, four which I do not understand: the way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a serpent on a rock, the way of a ship in the middle of the sea, and the way of a man with a maid” (Proverbs:30:18-20, New…

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“7 Bible Quotes Supporting Gay Relationships”

I hesitate to write another blog post on any homosexual issues, but it breaks my heart when I see thousands of people watching and sharing content that furthers the misconception that God is alright with homosexual relationships. This week, a popular homosexual “vlogger” released a video entitled, “7 Bible Quotes Supporting Gay Relationships.” Because of the obscenities, I will not link to the video, but I will give you the rundown of all “7 Bible Quotes Supporting Gay Relationships,” according to Arielle Scarcella and Matthew Vines.First, the title of the youtube…

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When Your World Collapses

When Your World Collapses It may not happen to you. I hope it doesn’t. But it might. In fact, there’s about a 50/50 chance that it will.In January 1997, the divorce that I filed for—the divorce I never wanted to happen—was signed, sealed, and approved by the State of Oklahoma. It is an event in my life that I’m not proud of. I’m a results-oriented individual. I was taught—and I truly believed—I could do anything.Valedictorian of my Oregon State University graduating class of 4,000.MBA from Harvard.My parents have been married…

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The Sleeping Bride

WAKE UP BELOVED!! Your Groom is about to come for you!!“Come Dear One… it’s time to get ready for the Wedding! Everyone is here and they can’t wait to see how beautiful you are! Especially my Father! I’ve been telling Him all about you for many years & though sometimes He has wondered about you being a suitable Bride for His One and Only Son, I have continually pleaded with Him & been your biggest Advocate. I’m so grateful to Him because He always trusts my judgement and is also…

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Commitment to Marriage

Back in the earlier years of our country, around the time of the civil war, I would imagine that marriages did not involve a whole lot of courtship.   There may have been some couples who knew each other from childhood and ended up together because they had always assumed that is what would happen.  For young women who did not have a school mate beau, I would imagine that when they met a suitable young man, after they were of marriageable age, things moved along rather quickly.  If papa let…

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The 5 Love Languages Explained

One of the the steps every couple should do before they get married is to find out each others love languages. This of course can be done after marriage as well but it will help a whole lot more before.What is a love language?A love language is basically how a person communicates and feels love. There are 5 different love languages that exist and everybody will have a different set of love languages that they speak.  These love languages include:1. Acts of Service.2. Gifts.3. Physical Touch.4. Quality Time Together.5. Words…

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5 Tips for A Great Christian Marriage

Marriage truly is an incredible blessing from God and can bring many times of happiness, joy and companionship.  However for those of us who are married we also realize that marriage is hard and requires a lot of hard work, commitment and dedication in order to keep your marriage strong.  There are too many out there today that simply give up because they don’t have the will to fight for the blessing that God has given them.  For most it is much easier to walk away and forget about it…

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What Does The Bible Say About Christian Working Moms?

I have received many heartfelt emails from women asking me, “Where in the Bible does it say, a woman cannot work outside the home?” Another comment, where are scriptural articles that do not condemn? I often quickly reply the Bible does not say a woman cannot work outside the home. Many of the women in the Bible were leaders among women and men. Deborah was basically a military commander.Let’s look at the Proverbs 31 woman. This woman is often held up as the prime example of a Godly woman. Here…

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Money and Marriage

Money — or more specifically lack thereof — can be a major source of marital strife. And don’t assume that “If I were a Rich Man,” all these problems would disappear. The reality is much more complex. There are particular struggles in being poor as well as unique challenges to being wealthy. Ethics of Our Fathers advises, “The more property, the more worries,” as any homeowner can attest to. While plenty of discussions about money get stuck on quantity, money’s psychological impact on our lives and relationships may be a…

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Working Toward Love

There’s no avoiding it — creating a lasting and loving marriage takes a lot of work. That’s just the way it is. Marriage demands a lot and gives a lot. If you want the benefits of a deeply committed and loving relationship, then you have to be willing to put in the effort to make it happen.It’s not mystical.It’s as simple as preparing for a marathon. If you don’t follow a daily training regimen, you won’t finish the race. And if you don’t train for marriage by working on your…

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The Peaceful Fight

We were newlyweds when we had a young man over for dinner, a stranger traveling through Israel who happened upon our Shabbos table. I don’t recall the context but I do remember him asking, “You haven’t had a fight yet have you?” And I remember his astonishment when we acknowledged that indeed we had, probably more than one. His image of happily married life was shattered.We never saw this young man again, but it is clear that without some education he is doomed to have an unsuccessful marriage. Marriage has…

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The Key to Expressing Love

If everyone was given love in the way they most appreciate it, fewer people would still be searching for more.Can you remember times when you felt unloved? Have you ever wished to be given a gift by your spouse? Spoken to positively in a way that expressed appreciation for the things that you do? Helped willingly, with chores, as your spouse took the initiative to help? Or, have you felt that although your spouse is a good provider, you never have enough quality time together, and really want more badly?

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Dating after Marriage

When was the last time you and your spouse went out together — just the two of you, no kids, no friends, just you and your partner? If you have to pause even for a second to think, that’s not good.Your marriage is the most important relationship you will have in this world — more important than your relationship with your kids. Raising great kids is half prayer, and half a good marriage. If you want your kids to come out great, make sure your marriage is great.Marriage requires consistent…

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Who Do You Love?

Rabbi Moshe Aaron Stern, a great rabbi who passed away a number of years ago, would often tell this story: When he was a student in yeshiva, he was heartily enjoying his dinner at the end of a long day of studies. “Moshe, you really love that fish, don’t you?” his teacher asked.”Yes,” he responded between bites. “It’s delicious, I love it.””Moshe,” his teacher gently admonished, “it’s yourself you love. If you really loved the fish, you wouldn’t eat it!”This lighthearted example can be applied to more important relationships, particularly…

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Lessons from Successful Marriages

This article is excerpted from the NY times national bestseller, “The Truth about Cheating.” The author studied hundreds of men, faithful and unfaithful, to discover how women could create better relationships for themselves.Here’s a simple secret that I’ve shared with thousands of couples in therapy and in my seminars: successful couples accentuate the positive and diminish the negative, and failed couples accentuate the negative and diminish the positive.Failed couples tend to think that their failure is justified because of the spouse they married. They perceive successful couples as having an…

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A Husband’s Promises

A Husband’s Promises:I will remember that I am your husband and that I love you. I will be kind to you.I will appreciate you more and express it more often. I will model appreciation of you for our children to see.I will not belittle you in any way, nor will I attack people who are dear to you.I will remember that while it is you who lights the Shabbat candles, that wonderful symbol of shalom bayit, peace in the home, our harmony is not your responsibility alone. It is our…

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Love Is a Verb

I was asked to study with a married woman who wanted to hear the Jewish view on love and marriage. I started by showing her a quote by Stephen Covey, where he eloquently describes what he answered someone who asked him about his failing marriage:“My wife and I just don’t have the same feelings for each other that we used to have. I guess I don’t love her anymore and she doesn’t love me. What can I do?”“The feeling isn’t there anymore?” I inquired.“That’s right” he reaffirmed. “And we have…

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Putting Marriage First

It’s the number one myth of marriage: “After you fall in love, you don’t have to work at it anymore.” Countless couples have told me, “If it takes so much energy, we must not be made for each other.” Somewhere we have been improperly taught that true love is supposed to come easy. Once we’ve committed to each other through marriage, our love will take care of itself while we get on with life. We can now focus on jobs, kids, and acquiring things.I think many want to resist having…

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Get More Pleasure Out of Marriage

I want to give you a tool that I guarantee will drastically improve your marriage in one week.Both you and your spouse need to make a commitment to do the following: Don’t cause pain, give pleasure.After doing years of marriage counseling and being married for twenty years, I believe the key to enjoying each other and your marriage comes down to this one principle. But can it really be so simple? I don’t have any doubt that the answer is, “yes.”So if it’s so simple, why doesn’t everyone do it?…

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How to Stop Fighting

I settled into my window seat on the Jetblue flight and noticed that the two seats beside me remained vacant. The doors were ready to be closed and I welcomed the quiet time alone for the next few hours.Just when I thought I had the entire row to myself, in walked a distinguished looking couple. Of course their seats were the ones I had happily thought of as my in-flight office space. They settled in and put their bags in order.This won’t be too bad, I thought to myself.I was…

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Men, Women and Forgiveness

Our relationships are strengthened or weakened by hundreds of small actions and communications we share with each other. When we are paying attention and offer help or empathy or thanks, for something, it strengthens our relationships.Insults, neglect and ignoring, whether intentional or not, create a breach in relationships.When your spouse, your child or your friend expects you to be there for them and you either ignore, neglect or even forget them, that creates a breach in the relationship. This can then lead to resentment by the offended party. What happens…

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Why Divorce

Why Divorce:What do you think is the subject that couples argue about most?In-laws? Children? Intimacy? Lack of communication?New research tells us that the number one source of conflict in most marriages is money.Couples fought so much about money that even after getting divorced, there was anticipation that the next relationship would also be filled with fights about finances. There was arguing about different approaches to spending, using money as a source of control when one person earned more than the other, and the lies that trapped spouses as they told…

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What Husbands Need to Know

In ten years of marriage, my wife and I were blessed with four beautiful children. But the marriage itself was often difficult and painful. We were divorced for two and a half years. Then we remarried.This is not a recommended course of events, but Divine Providence took me on this unusual path. Fortunately, my wife and I usually got along pretty well during the time we were divorced and I saw my kids nearly every day. But being divorced was definitely not ideal. There were times that the hate I…

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Didn’t Love My Wife When We Got Married

I’m a ridiculous, emotional, over-sentimental sap. I guess that’s why I told my wife I loved her on our second date.I had tried really hard up to that point to hold it back, honestly. I wanted to tell her on the first date, but I knew that would probably be weird.I still remember her reaction. She kind of gave me this half-shy, half-amused smile. Then she nodded and looked off into the sky.I wasn’t heartbroken by the response. I think part of me recognized that she was much smarter and…

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Remind Me Why We’re Still Together?

“We’re getting a divorce,” my friend told me over the phone.A divorce after so many years of marriage? After having gone through so much together? After raising children? Why? What happened?But I knew the answer. I had heard it so often lately and from many different friends and acquaintances: boredom, growing apart, sitting in front of each other and having nothing to say, lack of romance and intimacy, feeling like two strangers, not seeing eye to eye, unwillingness to continue to put up with issues that one has endured for…

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Save Your Money, Save Your Marriage

Money and the financial stress that often accompanies it can take a big toll on a marriage. In fact, one of the leading causes of divorce is finances. While it may be a heated topic, there are practical steps you can take to help alleviate the stress money may be having on your marriage.1. Take Financial ResponsibilityEmpower yourself to learn about your finances. While most young couples enter a relationship knowing very little about what it means to be married, they are often even more clueless about money. How do…

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